


Still Burning

by NogitsuneStiles



Series: Peter/Lydia (Pydia) [13]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Hale Fire, Arson, College, Coma, Comatose Peter, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gentle Sex, Kissing, Making Out, No Healing, Paralysis, Peter Feels, Post Hale Fire, Protective Lydia, The Hale Fire, Touching, Werewolf Healing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-27 14:07:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5051377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NogitsuneStiles/pseuds/NogitsuneStiles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One year after Lydia and Peter met, Kate set the Hale house on fire, leaving Peter heavily injured and comatose. Lydia comes to visit him at the hospital as often as she possibly can despite her studies, and even after six years she still has not lost hope in Peter, to whom being paralysed with her next to him is simply unbearable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Lydia smiled as she entered the room, quietly closed the door behind her.

"Hello, sweetheart..."

She took off her coat and set her purse aside, happy to see that the nurses had already put Peter to bed so that she could lie beside him.

She took off her shoes and crawled on the bed, pushed back her hair as she leaned over him to kiss him.

_He wished she wouldn't. He loved the soft tickle of her hair on his skin, the smell of it. It had taken him years to accept the anger that rose up inside him when he realised that he could not even in the slightest return her kiss. Now, after six years, he was glad she still came to visit him every day and that she kissed him at all._

"How are you feeling today?"

Lydia gently adjusted his arm so she could snuggle up to him, put his arm around her body, her hand resting on his while her head lay on his chest.

Of course she knew he was not going to answer her with words, but still he did. She had learned and focused her senses, and by now she could often pretty accurately tell his state of mind and how he was doing that day.

She laughed softly as she got her answer. 

"I know, I'm sorry... I'll cut your hair tomorrow and do your beard, and I'll tell that aweful nurse to either not come back in here or change her perfume... that smell is all over the place...!"

_He would have loved to laugh with her, kiss her on her forehead, or even just have his fingers run over her side. It was one of those moments when he felt utterly miserable, guilty even, for not being able to give something back, and even if it was just a blink of his eyes._

_He had met her when she was sixteen and one of the most girly and sassy queen bees you could possibly imagine. Then, a year later, came the fire. The arson. The only thing nowadays that lifted his spirit from time to time was to be able to have seen her grow from an obnoxious teenager to a beautiful young woman, and to be able to still reflect on how much she had changed during these six years that he had spend either in a bed or a wheelchair. Lydia was the only thing that kept him from wishing he was dead and going completely insane, and he was often desperately wishing to be able to tell her how grateful he was for that. But again, that would not be today._

Lydia's fingers gently caressed his chest, her index finger was drawing small little circles on his upper body.

"Exams are coming up... so I can't stay as long as usual..."

She sighed. 

"I'd love to, you know... stay here with you..."

_Peter could clearly hear how hurt and troubled she was, knew how heavily it weighed upon her that she wasn't even allowed to stay over night. They had not fallen asleep in each other's arms in six years, and he was often troubled that Lydia might be falling asleep next to someone else by now._

_There were days when he deeply wished she would - that she had someone in her life who was able to dry her tears when she had had a rough day at university, or when she could barely hold them back anymore after she had left his room at the hospital._

_He knew, because no matter how hard she tried to hide it from him, his hearing was still as good as ever and he could often hear her crying after she locked herself in her car before she was finally able to drive away from the hospital._

_It hurt him that he caused her so much pain, and yet on other days he got incredibly jealous, furious even, when he thought about Lydia having a lover or a boyfriend. He knew it wasn't fair to think like this, he wanted her to have a different life, enjoy her youth instead of wasting it with him and be happy, but he wanted her to be happy with **him** , and not someone else, no matter how much of a hopeless daydream that might be. _

Lydia smiled softly, kissed him on the cheek.

"But don't worry... I'll stay as long as I can... and holidays will be soon, so I can come over more often..."

Her thumb caressed the back of his hand, she closed her eyes, enjoying his warmth, trying to make the most of their time together.

_He listened to her talk about her day, about her professors and classmates, her syllabus and what she had to learn currently._

_He would have loved to pull her closer, caress her back soothingly, as her voice became more quiet and calm as he felt her fall asleep in his arms._

_Instead, his hand was where she had put it, and he was grateful that she still held it in her sleep so he could still feel her touch, the warmth of her body._

_Sometimes he worried about her weight, could feel her ribs when she shifted, only imagined how stressful it had to be for her to master a household, her friends and studies, and her boyfriend who was still in a vigil coma._

_She had had to grow up and adjust to her situation so much quicker than all her friends or classmates had, and of course Peter blamed himself for that. After all, he was the reason why she postponed her studying to the late evening and night, made her keep another schedule besides the one university had given her._

_It was a horrible situation for him to be in - not because of his own life and what had become of it, but because he didn't want her to throw away her life, worrying about him, as well. At the same time, he kept watching the clock on the wall all day long, eagerly waiting for her, hoping that one of her classes might not be taking place that day and that she would come over sooner than she usually did, so they had more time together._

_He wanted to see her, and he wanted her not to come back._

_He didn't want her to come, and then wanted her to stay for as long as possible._

_Luckily Lydia was always able to reassure him, may it be with a word, a touch, or a smile on her face, that she really **wanted** to be there with him and couldn't wait to visit him again the next day. _

"Miss Martin?"

Lydia slowly opened her eyes, turned her head to the nurse that had just come in. It was Lee Ann. Lydia liked Lee Ann - she was always friendly, but not overly pampering her patients as if their mind was already as paralysed as their bodies. She was a petit, but strong woman who managed to help Peter get in and out of bed and did not touch him in any other ways than what her job required or what Lydia would not simply be able to brush off as a nice gesture. She was one of the few people Lydia trusted and felt safe to leave Peter alone with. 

"Visiting hours will be over soon... but I will be busy for the next... 20 minutes?"

She smiled at Lydia. Both of them knew the rules, but for Lydia Lee Ann liked to bend them a bit from time to time.

Lydia smiled sleepily.

"Thank you..."

Lee Ann just winked at her and quietly closed the door behind her.

Lydia sighed, entangled her fingers with Peter's.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to doze off..."

She looked up to him and smiled, then laughed.

"It's really time to trim your beard, Mister...!"

She pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, then to his lips.

_He couldn't help it, couldn't hold back the tears that were coming to his eyes. Sometimes it was just too overwhelming, especially when he was at his worst, to know how much she cared and that she was beside him, even after six long years._

"Oh, Peter..."

She looked at him sadly, sat up a bit, so she could wipe the tears from his cheeks.

"It's okay... it's okay, sweetheart..."

She smiled a bit, tried to cheer him up.

"Your beard doesn't look _that_ bad..."

Lydia took his face into her hands, her thumbs gently caressing his cheeks as she gave him a long and loving kiss.

She smiled gently as she looked into his eyes, whispered softly.

"I love you..."

_Peter would have given everything to be able to answer her, to tell her, how much he loved her, too, and to try to put into words how much she meant to him._

_He had to do **something**... _

_He **had** to... _

Lydia completely froze in shock and surprise as she watched his eyes close very slowly, then open again.

"P-Peter-...?"

She swallowed dryly, her heart pounding heavily in her chest, her hands were ice cold as she took Peter's hand into hers.

This simple gesture of blinking was the first movement, the first reaction she had gotten from him in six years.

Lydia's hands started to shake more violently, her voice was hoarse and trembling.

"Can-... have you-... C-Can you hear me...? Blink once for _yes_... and twice for _no_..."

Peter didn't move for a moment which seemed like an eternity of uncertainty to Lydia.

Then he blinked once.


	2. Chapter 2

"What do you mean, he did not wake up...?"

Lydia looked at Peter's doctor in shock and disbelief, all her hopes shattered mercilessly by his words.

"He is awake. At least his mind is. It's not as easy as we thought... You see, his muscles are perfectly capable of moving, but the signal from the brain does not reach the muscles."

Lydia crossed her arms, flung them around her chest, feeling utterly helpless and lost. 

"And-..."

She cleared her throat, sounded much weaker than she thought.

"Will that... ever change...? I mean..."

The doctor sighed. 

"We can't promise anything, Miss Martin. If his nerves regenerate, it might get better. But we can not say to what extent..."

He looked at her, had known her for so long he felt sorry for her on a much more personal level, gently put his hand on her arm.

"I'm sorry..."

Lydia smiled sadly and nodded slightly, did not look up, not even as he left.

_Peter could hear her walk up and down the corridor, taking deep, shaky breaths, trying not to cry and to calm herself before she came to visit him._

_Why wasn't he healing...?_

_Why couldn't he just **heal**...?!_

Lydia knocked on the door and came in, smiled as she saw him.

"Hey..."

She walked over to him and kissed him, saw his eyes follow her movements as she sat down opposite his wheelchair.

"You can look around... that's good...!"

Her smile became more honest, truly happy as he blinked once in reply.

She laughed as his gaze wandered over her body, then focused on her cleavage.

"I really missed that, too, you know... you, eyeing me up..."

She gave him a long, soft kiss.

"I'll do your hair now. Is that okay?"

Again, he blinked once.

Lydia unpacked a few things from her bag and put them on the table for her to reach, put a robe of thin, black fabric and a towel around Peter, as well as on the floor.

_Peter closed his eyes as her fingers ran through his hair, felt her kiss his head._

_He still kept them closed as he heard her cut his hair. She'd done this so many times and so extremely well, he trusted her completely and rather focused on her touch than on what his reflection in the mirror might look like._

_He stayed completely still, enjoying this. Usually he listened to her talk, but today she was silent._

_As she turned him around to trim his beard, he would have loved to smile at her, but his lips wouldn't move. Instead she must have seen the expression in his eyes, because she smiled back at him._

_Peter had always thought of them having their ways to understand each other without words. He'd never thought that someday this would literally be the case, but now that she still did understand him, it was a great relief and a beautiful proof of affection._

_He would have loved to lean in to her touch as she trimmed his beard, tilted his head to reach all the spots. He loved that about her - that critical little knitting of her brows and pouting of her lips she wasn't even aware of while she was striving to meet her expectations to absolute perfection._

_When she was done, she held a mirror in front of Peter, moving it slowly, letting him see himself._

"Is that okay?"

Lydia smiled as he looked up at her and blinked.

"And do you like it...?"

Again, he blinked once.

She smiled, set the mirror aside and gave him a kiss, softly whispering against his lips.

"Now you look a lot more like yourself again..."

_He did. Apart from the part of his face that was still covered in scars, marked by the fire he had barely escaped._

Lydia carefully threw away the hair that had fallen onto the towels, then put the towels and the robe away, as well as her scissors, the razor and her combs. 

She used a big, unused make up brush to brush away tiny hairs that might have gotten onto his face or neck, before she sat opposite him again, the look in her eyes now showing her sadness and insecurity. 

"Have the doctors talked to you yet...?"

Peter blinked once.

"And they told you where the problem lies...?"

_Yes._

Lydia sighed, looked down to her hands.

"Listen, I-... I don't mean to put pressure on you or anything-... but-..."

She took a deep breath, her voice much quieter now.

"Are you healing...?"

Peter hesitated so long his eyes started to burn. Then he blinked twice.

Lydia pressed her lips together and closed her eyes, desperately trying not to lose control and break down entirely.

_It was unbearable for him to watch. He wanted to touch her, pull her into his embrace and soothingly caress her back. He wanted to tell her that somehow everything would be alright. That he could take care of himself and that she should take care of her studies._

_Instead, he could do nothing but watch as the tears ran down her cheeks, as she burried her face in her hands and sobbed quietly..._

Eventually Lydia pulled herself together once more, wiped away the tears.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to cry... it was just... really devastating news today-..."

She sighed and kept quiet for a while, thinking.

"Do you..."

She looked to the door, but none of the nurses came in.

"Do you... want me to try... and trigger the healing...?"

Peter didn't even hesitate to answer. 

_Yes._

Lydia took a deep breath, calming herself, thinking.

"Do you... do you think... breaking a finger will be enough...?"

Peter wasn't sure about that question. He was filled up with medication against the pain, but it was still always there, like a dull, distracting headache at the back of your head.

_No._

Lydia clearly got more uncomfortable now, nervously pressing her lips together.

"Peter, I... I'm sorry I can't trigger it like Derek would... but I'm still not making you bleed..."

_She took his hand into hers, one of her hands steadily holding his hand, while the fingers of her other hand wrapped tightly around his ring finger._

_He watched her take a deep breath and then closed his eyes, waiting for the pain to shoot through his body._

_But there was no pain, no dull crack, no broken finger._

_Instead he felt Lydia's fingers become as cold as ice, a bit sweaty even from the stress, before they started to shake so violently she had to let go of his hand._

"I'm sorry-...."

Her eyes had filled with tears, and she felt incredibly guilty, useless even for not being able to do such a simple thing to help him.

She had seen him in pain already so many times, heard his silent screams, felt how much he was suffering. 

She just _couldn't_... she couldn't add onto that pain, not even knowing if it would work, since Peter had not turned on the full moons and his powers seemed to be reduced to a minimum, if not at all gone.

"I-... I can't-..."

_It's alright, sweetheart..._

_It's okay..._

_I never should have let you try in the first place..._

Lydia didn't look at him, didn't see how sorry he was, how much he would have loved to tell her that everything was perfectly fine and that she shouldn't beat herself up about it.

"I'm sorry-..."

_Peter didn't want her to leave, hated himself for not being able to stand up and stop her, or even tell her how much he needed her to stay._

"I'm afraid it was... all just a bit too much today... I need to go home and get some rest..."

_He closed his eyes as he felt her fingers run through his hair, her lips on his mouth, desperately wishing to be able to kiss her back, show at least a little bit of his affection like this._

_But of course he couldn't, could only sit there and listen to her heartbeat, her shoes on the polished floor, the silent creaking of the angles of the heavy door his room._

_When Peter opened his eyes again, Lydia was gone._


	3. Chapter 3

"Are you sure you want me to do this?"

_Yes._

Derek sighed.

"Okay, fine... and if it doesn't start healing, what do you expect me to tell the nurses? Hm? You haven't thought this through..."

"I won't tell if you don't."

Derek turned around in surprise as one of the nurses suddenly stood behind them.

"Excuse me...?"

Lee Ann laughed softly and closed the door.

"No need to look so shocked, boy! I've lived in Beacon Hills for longer than you are alive, and I am very well aware of the... _abilities_ that run in the Hale family."

She looked to Peter and smiled gently.

"It took me some time, though, to find out about the banshee... but I guess I'm becoming old enough to blame my age for that..."

"Are you a hunter?"

Lee Ann raised her eyebrows in amusement, patted her small tummy.

"Do I look like a hunter to you? No... I am psychic. A medium, if you will. That is how I found about your family, too. I talk to your ancestors from time to time..."

"Oh, really? And what do they say?"

Derek crossed his arms, didn't quite believe her yet.

Lee Ann fluffed up Peter's pillows on the bed, not in the least impressed by the much taler and stronger young werewolf next to her.

"Well, your _mother_ thinks you should be a little nicer to that Stilinski boy. Talia doesn't like the way you boss him around all the time..."

_If he could have moved his lips, Peter would have had one of the biggest smiles in years on them._

"And _you_..."

Lee Ann looked to Peter. 

"You, honey, better be getting better soon..."

She smiled gently.

"She's waited long enough, hasn't she?"

_Yes. She had._

The nurse helped Derek reach his uncle's thigh for him to dig his claws into. Lee Ann looked to Peter, then to Derek.

"Are you ready?"

_Yes._

_On second thought, maybe he wasn't._

_The pain was so much worse than he remembered, so much more blinding and sharp, the sound his flesh made when Derek's claws ripped through the skin made him want to gag._

"It's okay, sweetheart...", Lee Ann murmured softly, handed a paper towel to Derek so he could wipe off the blood before he went to the bathroom to wash his hands properly.

She pressed a gauze pad against the wounds, stopped the blood from getting on Peter's clothes and wheelchair.

Peter was breathing more heavily now, wondering why the pain was so strong despite the fact that he was always on the edge of a pain killer overdose.

"Shh... it's okay... look at me, Peter..."

Lee Ann smiled as Peter opened his eyes, her thumb gently caressing his knee.

"See...? It's not that bad... it will be okay... Derek?"

The young man came back into the room, but froze as he met the gaze of his uncle.

He looked right into Peter's eyes.

Peter's bright, blue, shining eyes.

"It worked...", he murmured, walked over to the nurse, who now gently pushed up Peter's lip to examine the fangs that were growing out of his jaw.

"I think so..." Lee Ann smiled, took the small mirror from the table, let her patient have a look at his reflection. "See? You're still in there... it will be alright..."

_Peter had not turned in such a long time, feeling and seeing his body react to the injuries felt weird, almost strange._

_There was a soft, tingling heat right underneath his skin, that felt even worse at the claw marks Derek had left. And yet, there was something reassuring about this pain, promising him that he would heal again and maybe even get better._

"Okay, since we've been moving your muscles over the years in daily physiotherapy, that should be alright... but it might take a while until you will be able to talk like you used to. Vocal cords are like muscles. If you don't use them, their strength will decline. So don't worry if you can't talk right away or will sound very hoarse..."

"Well, that's not that bad..."

Even without the use of his eyebrows Peter shot an unbelievably angry glance at Derek, who just crossed his arms and smiled back sarcastically.

Lee Ann slowly pulled away the gauze pad, smiled happily. 

"Do you see that, Derek? He's healing..."

She looked up to Peter, who looked at her impatiently and expectantly.

"It's not nearly as fast as you were used to... but it _is_ healing. I promise."

She tended to his wounds again, before her and Derek moved Peter out of his wheelchair and into his bed.

"Thank you, Derek. I would like to wash your uncle now, so if you would please leave the room..."

"Say no more."

Derek put on his leather jacket, the look in his eyes was almost worried as he looked to Peter.

"Take care, okay?"

_Yes._

Lee Ann smiled as Derek had left, filled a bowl with pleasantly hot water and body wash.

"He's such a good boy... but there's way too much anger inside him... so much guilt..."

_Oh, she had no idea..._

_Peter hesitated._

_Paige was dead._

_Lee Ann was a medium._

_Maybe she was indeed very well aware of what was going on..._

"She could be doing this, too, you know..."

Peter blinked irritatedly as she started talking again, had been quite lost in thought.

Lee Ann laughed softly.

"Don't look so confused! I'm talking about Lydia, of course..."

The nurse quickly and swiftly, but still surprisingly thoroughly washed his body, relieving him of the sweat and blood on his skin.

"I wouldn't want her to do this on a daily basis, even if I taught her how. It's much too exhausting for a petit little girl like her..."

Lee Ann smiled gently.

"But maybe once in a while it would be nice for the two of you... like sharing a bath, you know?"

_Peter knew that Lee Ann liked him and Lydia a lot, and he was very grateful to apparently have found the one nurse in Beacon Hills besides Scott's mother that understood their situation in more than just one aspect._

_Unknowingly the corners of his mouth lifted ever so slightly as he blinked once at his nurse in return._


	4. Chapter 4

Lee Ann smiled gently, walked down the hallway with Lydia.

"...you see, you really don't have to worry... You'll find everything you need in the bathroom and I'll make sure the two of you won't be disturbed..."

Lydia smiled a bit.

"I really don't know how to thank you...you're being so incredibly nice to us..."

"Oh, don't worry, dear."

Lee Ann winked at her softly.

"Pleasure's all mine. But I wouldn't say no to some of those peppermint chocolate sticks from the little shop down the street..."

Lydia laughed, nodded slightly.

"I'll remember that... thank you..."

Lydia took a deep breath, then she opened the door to Peter's room. Quietly she pushed the door shut again, locked it with shaking fingers.

_Why was she so nervous...?_

"Hello, sweetheart...", she smiled gently, still visibly nervous, excited even.

She set her bag aside, walked over to the bed, ran her fingers through Peter's hair, kissed his forehead.

"How are you doing today? Good?"

_Yes._

Lydia smiled.

"Okay... me, too..."

She slipped out of her high heels, sat down next to Peter.

"Listen... uhm..."

She bit her lower lip, not exactly knowing why she was so insecure, why it felt so hard to speak out what was on her mind.

"I talked to Lee Ann... and..."

She laughed softly, pushed back some strands of hair.

"And to be honest, I'm the reason you're wearing this hospital gown today..."

She looked up into his eyes, smiling nervously.

"I thought... maybe I could give you a bath today... Not like the nurses do it, but... since you can still feel what I do..."

Her fingers gently caressed the back of his hand.

"I thought about something more intimate... just between the two of us... Would you like that...?"

Lydia suddenly froze as she looked at Peter's face, her jaw dropped and she felt her heart skip a beat.

He smiled at her.

Peter was actually, truly, and very lovingly _smiling_ at her.

Lydia swallowed hard, felt her cheeks become hot and her hands cold, tears were coming to her eyes.

She hadn't seen his smile in such a long time it suddenly seemed like an eternity, almost felt like the first time he had ever smiled at her. 

_Yes._

"You-..."

Lydia was speechless. 

For the first time in her life, she was completely and utterly spechless.

"Oh my God-...!"

She wrapped her arms around him, hugged him tightly, eventually couldn't stop herself anymore from kissing him, completely overjoyed. 

She could even less conceal her happiness as she felt Peter's lips very gently press against hers, kiss her back for the first time in six long, endless years.

"Peter... you-..."

Lydia laughed softly, kissed him again, caressed his cheek.

"This is amazing-... really, I-... I don't know what to say... I just..." 

_He didn't want to confuse her, but he was dangerously close to crying himself, barely keeping it together. He never would have thought that such a small thing could have such a great impact on her. He never would have wanted her to feel so happy about such a natural gesture. But then again, natural or ordinary was something they hadn't experienced much recently..._

Lydia smiled softly, truly overjoyed, ran her thumb over his lips.

"I love you so much..."

She kissed him again, and while she knew he couldn't answer her with words, his lips lovingly pushing against hers was all she needed in return.

"So..."

She laughed softly, pushed back her hair, smiling at him excitedly.

"How about... we get a little more comfortable...?"

_He couldn't help but notice how nervous she was, almost anxious, felt her fingers shake violently as she carefully pushed back the covers and kneeled over him, slowly and carefully taking off his hospital gown._

_Then, much to his surprise, she laughed shyly, her cheeks slowly turning red._

"I'm sorry..."

Her gaze slowly wandered over his naked body, her fingertips gently touching his chest.

"It's just..."

Lydia felt like a teenager again. A virgin, even.

"It's been quite a while... since we..."

She looked up into his eyes, sighed quietly. 

"I've really missed you..."

She couldn't help but kiss him again, before she kneeled over his hips, slowly unbuttoned her blouse.

She smiled as she saw Peter's eyes widen slightly in surprise, watching the movements of her hands.

"I told you... I won't do it like the nurses do..."

Lydia slid off her blouse, dropped it on her chair next to the bed. 

She wore a red lace bra underneath, that had thin black satin applications near the hem. 

His favourite.

Peter couldn't help but stare, which made her chuckle softly.

"Do you still like it...?"

Peter had never blinked so fast in his life.

Lydia smiled a little more confidently now.

"Okay... I'll be right back..."

She carefully got up and pulled the covers over him so he wouldn't get cold.

Then she took the bath sponge and Peter's shower gel from her purse, went into the bathroom and filled a small bowl with pleasantly hot water before adding a tiny bit of the shower gel. She set the shower gel aside and took a towel with her before she got back to Peter.

Lydia set the bowl on his night table and took off her skirt, revealing the matching panties to her bra.

She was still nervous as she kneeled over Peter, carefully dipped the sponge into the hot water, and then began to gently wash his chest with it.

Peter closed his eyes briefly, couldn't think of any words to describe how wonderful it felt, before he opened them again, watching her, not wanting to miss a second of it.

_She was so throughout, and yet so gentle and careful, taking her time while she washed his body, always drying off his naked skin shortly afterwards, before chills could even make an attempted to overcome him._

_There was no rush._

_No standard procedure that was repeated for the thousandth time._

_It was just the two of them, alone, and together._

_He felt her finger tips dance over his skin, her thighs that brushed his sides from time to time as she moved, her lips on his neck and chest._

_And after a while, Peter began to feel a strange, tingling feeling in his body, but he couldn't quite assign it yet..._

"Peter...?"

Lydia looked up to him, surprise and insecurity mirrored on her face.

"Can you... can you feel this...?"

Peter looked down on himself and heat rose to his cheeks.

_Yes..._

He had never felt embarrassed for being aroused, but he simply wasn't aware of the fact that his body was still able to sort all of his feelings in the right way, and also providing his member with enough blood to show it. 

"Can you... feel this, too...?", Lydia asked quietly, almost shyly, as her finger tips wandered over the inner side of his right thigh, slowly moving upwards to his hips, tracing the length of his member.

Peter couldn't answer her right away, kept his eyes closed while he enjoyed her touch, his lips slightly parted, his breathing a little heavier now.

Lydia leaned over him, ran her fingers through his hair, gently kissed his lips.

_He wanted her..._

_He wanted her so much..._

_Be with her again, the way they used to be..._

_And there he was, not even able to tell her..._

Lydia looked into his eyes, caressing his cheek. She knew what was on his mind. Of course she knew. After all, it was on her mind as well...

"Peter, I...", she began quietly. "I'm really not sure if we should be doing this... I mean..."

_Lydia looked so miserable and helpless, he couldn't help but let the fear come to the surface again, the fear of her having found someone else._

_Someone she could talk to, who would be there for her, and kept her bed warm at night._

_Someone healthy._

"Peter, I... I don't want this to feel like I'm using you... and-... oh, dear God-..." She had to force herself to keep talking, couldn't get this over her lips. 

"I... I haven't had... real sex in over six years... I mean-..."

She burried her face at his neck. It was just too embarrassing to look at him.

"Of course I... you know... sometimes got comfortable with a toy or two, thinking about you... but it's just not the same... and..."

Lydia sighed, finally looked at him again.

"I'm afraid... I might be out of shape... and I want this to be good for you... I really do-..."

_Peter would have loved to laugh out loud, pull her into a kiss, show her that all of these things were nothing she had to worry about._

_After all, he was the one with the performance issues._

Peter looked up to her and smiled lovingly, the look in his eyes reassuring her.

Lydia knew that patients in a vigil coma were able to get a hard-on, but often it didn't last very long. Peter on the other hand seemed to be the exception.

"Shall we... I mean... do you want to...?"

_Yes..._

_Of course this was not the way Peter would want it to be. Her, doing all the work, while he couldn't even lift an arm to touch her._

_But at this moment, just the two of them sharing such intimate thoughts, he couldn't help but feel better._

_He had missed her, her body, her scent, her voice, all these little things that she would only show to him._

_**Only** him... _

_He couldn't even have put into words how happy and relieved he was, knowing that Lydia had stayed alone for his sake, despite how incredibly hard it must have been for her._

Lydia smiled nervously, kissed him gently. 

"Okay..."

Lydia carefully sat up again, kneeling over his hips.

Then, much to Peter's surprise, she took his hand into hers.

He looked at her curiously, but got even more excited as he understood.

Lydia kissed his finger tips very lovingly, before she guided his hand, very slowly and thoroughly letting him enjoy her naked skin beneath his fingers.

He could feel the pulse at her neck, her collar bone, his breathing got a little heavier as she guided his fingertips along the lace fabric of her bra, her breasts, her stomach and her sides, before he touched her thighs, his hand slowly wandering between her legs...

A soft little moan escaped her lips as she felt Peter's fingers move slightly, his finger tips now more firmly brushing against her through the thin fabric.

"You could have told me you can do that..."

Peter smirked, quite pleased with himself, which made her laugh.

"You're still a big bad wolf, aren't you...?"

Lydia placed his hand on her butt as she leaned forward, felt him grip it slightly as she kissed him, lovingly, giving him all the time he needed, and yet still so passionately it left him feeling starving for more of her touch.

Peter blinked a few times as her lips dissappeared and she carefully set down his hand again, watched her get off of the bed.

Lydia looked at him with an excited little smile on her face as she slowly took of her underwear, then looked for something inside her purse which she found quite quickly.

"I brought these with me... you know... just in case..."

Peter looked to the condom she dropped next to them on the bed, and he smiled while he thought about how much thought Lydia had put into this, daring to include even the possibility of them having sex...

"It's a good thing I did...", she laughed softly, getting on the bed again, watching his eyes trace the curves of her naked body.

She was still nervous, afraid it might not work out, but everytime she saw the way Peter looked at her, it took a little bit of her insecurity and worries away.

Lydia noticed that his gaze was now focused on the spot between her legs, and this time she didn't even ask anymore.

She slowly leaned back, supporting herself on her elbows next to his legs, giving him the opportunity to take an even closer and thorough look at her.

It was the way he looked at her which made her cheeks blush and her heart beat more rapidly, making her realise that they were really doing this, sharing a moment so intimate as this for the first time ever since the fire. 

Lydia slowly got up again, leaned over him, felt their naked bodies touch as she kissed his neck, his chest, his stomach, showering his naked skin with little kisses while her hands wandered over his sides and hips. She shivered slightly, loved taking her time with him, while simultaneously she wanted him now, right now, all of him, finally with her again.

She kissed his lips, looked into his eyes, needing his reassurance one more time.

"Are you sure...?"

_Peter caught her scent, smelled her arousal, heard her heartbeat and looked at her beautifully reddened lips and cheeks._

_Never in his life had he wanted something so much as her, would even gladly go through hell again if he could feel her now in return, her body so close to his, her lips on his mouth..._

_Yes. Yes, he was sure..._

Lydia smiled lovingly. 

"Me, too..."

She kissed him again and her fingers were shaking slightly as she ripped open the condom and carefully rolled it over his member.

She positioned herself on the bed, and Peter closed his eyes as he felt her lips on his, heat shooting through his body as she slowly lowered herself onto him, her muscles were clenching around him excitedly, the warmth inside her simply taking his breath away.

"Oh God... Peter..."

Lydia stayed like this for a moment, savouring it, taking in every little impression and feeling her body was giving her.

It had been so long... way too long...

She ran her fingers through his hair, gently pulling at it, moaning softly as she started moving her hips, letting him slide out of her only to take him all in again, greedily, almost desperately tensing up her muscles around him.

_He felt her hot breath on his skin, the silent little whimpers on her lips, her teeth that were gently pulling at his lower lip as she kissed him._

_He replied her kisses as passionately as he possibly could, pushing and forcing his body to react, to gather all its strength for her._

_He knew it wouldn't and couldn't be like it used to, and he hated his body for not obeying his mind, for not healing properly, for not being able to give her something in return._

_But again it was Lydia who found a solution to all the problems he was concerned about, proving again that she still knew him all too well..._

"Would you mind helping me a bit with this...?", she whispered softly, smiled as he blinked in return.

She got up a bit to give him some room, gently took his hand and had it rest against her thigh between her legs where he didn't need any support, and turned his palm upwards, so that he could easily reach her...

"Ah-..."

She gasped for air, moaning, her whole body shaking as his fingertips pushed between her soft, wet labia, rubbing naughtily against her clit.

Her eyes were dark with lust as she looked at him, smiling breathlessly.

"Better...?"

_Yes..._

_Again she kissed him, her body rocking against his, their naked skin touching and grinding, and Peter enjoyed how much she tensed up around him and how sweetly she moaned his name as he increased her pleasure._

_He could feel an all too familiar tightening sensation in his abdomen, sadly realised that he wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer._

_Gladly, neither did Lydia._

"Peter-...!!" 

With a hoarse, silent scream she clenched around him even more, shivering with pleasure from head to toe as she reached her climax, pushing against his hand, desperately aching for his touch.

_Her sight alone would have been enough to drive him over the edge, he closed his eyes and opened his mouth as he came inside her._

_Lydia..._

"Peter...?"

She opened her eyes again, looking at him breathlessly and a bit confused.

"What did you say...?"

_It had not just been in his head...?_

_Again, Peter tried to wrap his tongue around the letters, concentrating on the feeling at the back of his throat as the stream of air passed his speech organs._

"Ly... dia-..."

_It sounded so monotonous... and weak..._

_He tried again._

_And again._

_And again._

_And again, until he could finally hear himself say it._

"Lydia..."

_It was the first word he had spoken in over six years._

_The only word that would never lose its power and meaning to him._

_Her name._


	5. Chapter 5

"Lee Ann?"

Lydia gently tapped the smaller woman on her shoulder, smiled as she turned around to face her.

"Oh, hello, Lydia! How are you doing?"

Lydia laughed softly. She was completely incapable of getting the smile off of her face ever since she had heard Peter say her name a week ago. 

"I'm doing great, thank you... I got you something..."

She handed the nurse a basket, filled with chocolates and treats and even some bathbombs and beauty masks, and of course some of Lee Ann's favourite peppermint chocolate sticks.

Lee Ann's jaw dropped as she took the basket from her.

"Oh, honey, I thought this was for a patient...!"

Lydia smiled happily. 

"No. It's for you. It's..."

She brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"... a thank you. I know it's not nearly enough, but... I just really wanted to thank you for everything you've done for us..."

Lee Ann stepped closer, looking at her curiously, her voice reduced to a whisper. 

"Was it nice? You know... did you have any problems or do you need anything?"

Lydia smiled gently. 

"I found everything I needed, and changing him went really well with the hospital gown... thank you so much..."

"Oh, honey, stop thanking me, I'm just doing my job!", she laughed and winked at Lydia. "And since we both know where you're headed, don't keep him waiting because of me!"

Lydia really couldn't believe how lucky she was to have such a wonderful and understanding nurse to guide her and Peter through these hard times. 

"I won't..."

She looked after Lee Ann as she waved her goodbye and walked down the hallway, securely locking her basket away in the break room before she got to work again.

Lydia went the other way, gently knocked at the door as always before she entered.

Her smile got even bigger as she saw Peter look over to her, smiling.

"Hey... Look at you, and that beaming face...!"

She closed the door behind her, left her jacket and purse on the chair, took of her high heels and sat down on the bed next to Peter, leaning in to give him a kiss.

Lydia gently pulled him even closer as she felt him return her kiss, realised more and more that maybe he would get better eventually, and that he was still in there, her wolf, her friend, her lover...

"I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner... but I've got only one more exam coming up, and then I'll visit you every day..."

She kissed his cheek, laid his arm around her, noticed a tennis ball lying on his bedside table.

"Did you have physiotherapy today?"

Peter smiled at her and blinked once.

"Good! How's it going?"

Lydia felt his thumb slowly, a bit haltingly, and yet very lovingly caress her hip where she had placed his hand.

"You're really getting better, aren't you...?", she asked quietly, her voice shaking slightly. It was so much more than she had ever dared to hope, and slowly seeing it come true with her own eyes was simply incredible. 

_Yes..._

Lydia kissed him again, caressed his cheek.

"I am so... _so_ proud of you...", she whispered lovingly, looking into his eyes.

Peter's expression changed slightly, but there was still a smile playing around the corners of his mouth as he carefully and highly concentratedly moved his lips.

"Th...ank... you..."

_He could see her eyes fill with tears of joy, the smile on her trembling lips, the pride and happiness in her eyes._

_It was not much, and it still sounded awefully monotonous, but it was at least **something**._

_He was glad she didn't know it had taken him all week to practice._

Lydia placed a kiss on his chest before she leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, comfortably snuggling up to him.

"You're welcome, sweetheart..."

-

_When Peter opened his eyes again, the room was silent and dark, only illuminated by pale moonlight that shone through the windows. They must have fallen asleep..._

_"Peter...?"_

_Hands wandered over his chest, impatiently pulling away the blanket, a warm, curvaceous body settling down on top of him._

_Lips kissed his neck, sucked at the sensitive skin, teeth pulled at his lower lip playfully before her tongue gently parted his lips, kissed him so passionately and feverishly it left him breathless._

_"I want you so much...", she whispered softly, her voice hoarse with arousal, her fingers wandering over his naked skin as she took off his hospital gown, her fully dressed body grinding against his._

_Peter damned his body for not obeying his mind, for not being able to wrap his arms around her, throw her down on the mattress, and let him have his way with her..._

_Lydia kissed him again, hastily undressed herself, moaning against his lips as their naked bodies were rocking against each other._

_"Peter..."_

_She looked up to him, taking his face into her hands, his heart beating excitedly in his chest._

_"I know, it's really hard for you... but I really need you to tell me something... okay...?"_

_Peter blinked once in reply._

_Anything and everything._

_He would try._

_He returned her hungry little kisses as well as he could, hoping that his voice wouldn't break from all this excitement._

_But Peter wouldn't even get that far._

_His eyes flung open as he felt the thin, sharp wire wrap around his throat, digging into his flesh, leaving him gasping for air, but none of it would reach his lungs._

_The tall, blonde woman leaned in closer, so close he remembered every single detail about her beautiful face that hid the monstrous beast deep within._

_She opened her mouth and she screamed at him, pulling harder at the ends of the wire around his neck, her words echoing through his body hundreds and hundreds of times._

_"WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD?!"_

Lydia winced suddenly, woken out of her slumber by Peter's heavy, irregular breathing.

"Sweetheart? Are you okay?"

He was covered in sweat and his clothes sticked to his skin, his eyes still hectically looking around the room, searching for the woman he had seen in his dreams.

"Peter...?"

He finally looked up to Lydia, his blood rushing through his body, his heartbeat deafeningly echoing in his ears.

"Are you okay...?"

He felt her touch his cheek, run her fingers through his hair soothingly, and slowly he began to calm down again.

_Yes._

Lydia's face clearly showed how worried she was.

"Did you have a nightmare...?"

Peter blinked slowly.

"I'll be right back, okay?"

She got up to get a washcloth from the bathroom, soaked it in cold water and wrang it out until it was no longer dripping, before she sat next to Peter again and gently cooled his face and neck with it.

She helped him drink a few sips of water and his mind and body slowly relaxed again.

_He knew it was just a dream, but his throat still hurt as he swallowed the water, even breathing seemed to be a lot harder now._

_As he recovered from the shock he didn't know how he had been able to suppress this thought for so long in the first place..._

"I'll go get Lee Ann and we'll get you out if those clothes, okay?"

Lydia kissed his forehead, put on her shoes and left the room.

Peter stared at the ceiling, not daring to close his eyes, yet her face was still so deeply rooted in his memories that being awake didn't seem to make much of a difference.

It was her.

It had _always_ been her.

_Kate Argent._


	6. Chapter 6

Lydia sighed in relief as she shut the door of her car, finally had brought the last of her exams behind her so that she was able to spend more time with Peter at last.

She shouldered her bag, her smile turning into a soft, happy giggle as she remembered that Lee Ann had promised to have an extra bed for her brought to Peter's new room so she could spent more of her nights there, now that he had been transferred to the rehabilitation centre of the clinic since his vitals were stable and the results of his therapy more promising than the doctors would have ever dared to hope only a few months ago.

_Peter smiled as he heard her, as he felt her emotions, how much her entire presence had changed thanks to the good news. Of course he couldn't deny that the change of scenery had also not ceased to brighten his own spirits._

_It felt incredibly good to have a room that resembled more of an apartment than an operation room, he had a lot more freedom in here, and a lot more hope._

_And it also tickled his imagination; about what their rooms might look like when they moved in together somewhere. What a nursery might look like someday. What anything might be like with her once he had left this clinic._

"Hey, sweetheart..." 

When Lydia entered the room she was greeted by warm, wooden furniture, yellow wall paint and pictures, and Peter sitting in his wheelchair by the window. She laughed happily as she saw him, dropped her bags next to the door, and went over to hug him tightly.

"You..."

She took a second to really _look_ at him, to really see how much healthier he seemed already. His eyes were even more alert, fully back to normal, his head moving more, his skin had a much better colour despite him still being a little pale due to his being bedridden for so long. 

She gently ran her thumb over his left cheek, feeling the irritated, but soft skin.

"Your scars... they look so much better...!"

The corners of Peter's lips moved slightly until they finally formed a cheeky grin, pride mirrored in his features.

Lydia winced in surprise as she felt something heavy on her back, her lips opened slightly to say something but she just couldn't find the right words to say.

Instead she just closed her eyes, savouring this moment, enjoying the feeling of Peter gently pulling her into a kiss.

_Lydia's full lips still felt so soft against his own, the taste of her favourite lip balm so deliciously sweet, it reminded him even more of how much he had missed her during the past two weeks._

_She let out a soft sigh as they parted, her warm breath causing goosebumps on his skin._

_He had missed her so much..._

_Her voice, her scent, the soft dimples on her cheeks when she laughed..._

_The feeling of her skin beneath his fingers..._

"Wow... You... you're really healing, aren't you...?"

Lydia smiled at him, gently running her fingers through his hair.

And there it was.

An expression on his face she had never thought she'd see again.

The smile that told her that everything would be alright.

"Yes..."

Lydia's eyes filled with tears, she felt his hand haltingly, yet still soothingly run over her back as she quietly wept at his shoulder.

She knew it was happening, yet with every new bit that was so obvious it was even harder to believe.

Six long, endless, devastating years... and he was finally coming back to her.

"I... love... you..."

_He looked into her big, beautiful green eyes, saw them widen, her lips were trembling now, her voice sounded even more hoarse than his own._

"Oh, God, Peter-...! I love you, too-...!"

She pulled him closer once more, kissed him with so much love and passion it took his breath away.

"I love you so, so much-... and I can't tell you how much it means to me to hear you say it back-...!"

She wiped her eyes, careful not to smudge her make-up, smiling at him, yet she still seemed a little concerned.

"It's all happening so quickly... aren't your doctor's getting suspicious of your fast healing progress...?"

_Peter quietly took a deep breath, braced himself for what was probably the most he had spoken at once since the fire._

_"I want... to leave... soon. I want... to hire... Lee Ann. I told her-"_

_Another deep breath as he briefly closed his eyes, felt Lydia's thumb caress the back of his hand, wanting him to take the time he needed._

_"She will... take care... of-.. my therapy. She-... she won't... tell-"_

Sometimes his voice sounded hoarse and weak, just like in the beginning when he had begun to practice speaking again. In other moments it sounded strong and clear, just like the voice Lydia remembered; but after not hearing him at all for such a long time, she couldn't be more excited about talking to him. 

_Him_ talking to _her_.

"Peter, I..."

She suddenly looked sad, troubled even.

"I don't think we would be able to afford a private nurse...", she answered quietly, already worried by the thoughts of how she would pay for the new bills that would pile up next to taking care of Peter and studying.

"Sweetheart..."

Peter smiled at her, the tip of his finger lifting her chin up.

"Talk... to Derek. We have... 117-"

Lydia's eyes widened.

"117 thousand dollars...?"

Peter chuckled quietly, hoarsely.

"117 _million_..."

Her jaw dropped.

"You're kidding me...! You-"

"Yes..."

She could do nothing but stare at him, felt his finger move upwards a little more so she'd close her mouth again.

She laughed at that gesture, took his hand into hers.

"You guys could have told me, you know...!"

Peter seemed to shrug his shoulders, a content smile on his face.

Lydia shook her head, laughing.

"Wow... that... that was really unexpected!"

And yet, it would make so many things so much easier.

For both of them.

_As soon as he was back to normal, he would take her out for a fancy dinner._

_Spoil her a little with something new to wear for the occasion._

_Jewellery._

_Maybe even an engagement ring..._

"Come here-..."

Lydia got up and sat on his lap, gave him a sweet, brief kiss.

She felt his arm around her, not fully supported on its own yet, but definitely more agile than the last time she was here.

"What you did-... was nice..."

"What do you mean?", she replied quietly, a little confused.

Peter grinned cheekily.

"I mean... what you did-... with... my fingers-"

Lydia felt her cheeks turn hot and bright red, wouldn't have thought that he would bring it up again.

"It... it was stupid-... I'm sorry-..."

"Don't be-..."

He smiled at her happily, proud of the fact that he had actually gotten to be of some use to her.

"I liked it-..."

_He felt her fingers gently pull at his hair as he placed a soft little kiss on her neck, carefully tugged at her ear lobe with his teeth._

_It was quite a challenge, but judging by her reaction he was doing just fine._

_"I... want... you..."_

_He took his time with this, especially because whispering was even more exhausting for his vocal cords, but he sure as hell wanted to do this right._

_Peter could sense how excited he got her, felt her scent slowly change, getting heavier with arousal, her fastened heartbeat was all that he needed to hear right now._

_Slowly he raised his hand, gently placed it on one of her breasts, squeezing it slightly. She helped him pull down her top, just enough for him to catch a glimpse of her underwear, before he let his hand slide under it, cupping her breast, massaging it surprisingly firmly._

_Lydia moaned quietly against his lips, moved in closer to his touch, daring to kiss him more passionately now. Her nails gently scratched over the back of his neck, her fingers pulled at his hair, making even more of a mess of it than it already was._

_God, he had missed this..._

_Touching her, kissing her, slowly making her lose herself in her desire..._

_It felt so much better than just enjoying her doing all these little things to him without him being able to react properly..._

_But now it was finally just him and her again, together, and for that he would gladly accept the sore muscles and exhaustion that would undoubtedly follow..._

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, immediately followed by the door being opened.

Lydia winced in surprise and shock, quickly covered herself again as she got up, nervously tried to fix her hair.

The nurse who carried their food trays stopped, looked back and forth between them curiously.

"Everything alright?"

"Y-yes, everything's fine, thank you!", Lydia smiled gently, still trying to breathe normally again.

The nurse eyed her suspiciously, but then just smiled as Peter nodded at her, set their dinner on the table.

"Miss Martin, you'll stay here for the weekend?"

"Thank you... Yes, I will."

"Okay..." The nurse looked to Peter, then to Lydia, couldn't stop herself from grinning.

"Enjoy your evening..."


End file.
